Would it surprise anyone if I admitted I have never told my parents about my blog? I never have. But the inevitable has happened. My mom knows about my blog. She may have known about it for a long, long time but she has just admitted to knowing about my blog.
It’s not that I’ve ever tried to be anonymous or hide the fact that I’m a blogger. I just haven’t gone out of my way to tell the people in my real life that I have a blog. I guess I’ve never said much about it because it felt like such a bold step when I first started. Blogging takes me outside of my box. It still makes me feel daring at times. And it often still feels risky to write the words in my head. I have always been somewhat of an introvert. There is a lot that I internalize and I have always had a tendency to guard my emotions. The me that a lot of people know is not nearly the whole me. Blogging brings out a lot of the me that I have often hidden. So I have never shared with many people that I do this. The thought of doing so was sometimes almost embarrassing because it would require me to be vulnerable. I just never mentioned to my mom that I blog and she has never mentioned that she might know about it. It’s just kind of the way we do things.
The one person I told about this was my sister. And she may have shared it with my SILs because they both know about it. My good friend Shelly stumbled across it over a year ago and is always very encouraging, which I appreciate more than she probably knows. But there’s a part of me that has always worried way too much about what other people think; a part that would never allow me to march to the beat of my own drum. This is why I don’t advertise to my family and friends that I do this.
So my mom made a passing remark about my blog to Mark yesterday and he passed it on to me. I don’t know if my mom has actually read this blog or is just aware of it, but I now know that she knows. I was at first a little stunned. I guess I had been deluding myself that she wasn’t aware of it. How could she not be when three extended family members and my entire immediate family knew about it?
I instantly wondered what things I might have ever written that might cause my parents to take offense. I generally try to write things that I wouldn’t hesitate to say in front of anyone I am writing about, but still, I worried. I had a Teresa panic moment and debated deleting this blog. I considered scanning my archives and marking certain posts as private. I thought about doing like Knot did and starting over somewhere new with a new URL and fake names. For a short while I simply obsessed about what my mom thought.
But it didn’t take long for me to realize that no matter what anyone thinks, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve done some great things here. My husband fully supports this and was saddened to learn I was considering dumping this site. Sure, there’s been a lot of silliness and I’ve posted my share of stupidity. (Don’t worry, Mom. I never participated in Half Naked Thursdays.) I love writing. I have grown and learned so much since I started blogging. This has been such a journey of self-discovery for me. I have revealed a part of myself that I previously hadn’t allowed anyone to know. I have made some amazing friends. The rewards are too great to give it up. I am proud of this blog.
So Mom, if you happen to read this, welcome to my blog.
28 Comments
November 19, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Wow, look at me…I’m first!!
Anyway, I’m so glad you decided not to delete, stop blogging, or move sites. You are right when you say you have nothing to be ashamed of…you are a talented writer, and a wonderful friend!
I’m positive your mom would be proud to read your blog!!
November 19, 2008 at 9:07 pm
It’s hard. Right now I’m going through a challenge where my family is very angry with me over the election (weird, weird sich), and the one person I trusted enough to let them know about my blog has now forwarded it to everyone else.
I do feel a bit violated, but dammit I’m not moving it or shutting up. If they read something they disagree with, they should start a blog.
It does require that I’m vigilant with checking spam or mean comments, but they’ll forget soon enough and go on about their lives.
Don’t let it cramp your style chica!
November 19, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Yeah Mom…welcome. Your daughter is a very helpful and inspirational person.
Tell her to go run more.
November 20, 2008 at 12:25 am
Welcome to blogland Mom! Glad to have you!
November 20, 2008 at 12:36 am
I respect your courage in sharing your blog. You need not be worried about sharing your life and most private moments! People that love you will love you no matter what you spew here! ((hugs))
November 20, 2008 at 2:40 am
I’m not surprised at all! I haven’t told any of my friends or family either! Our daughter found out because her hubby ‘discovered me’; my niece in MN discovered right after I discovered hers & left a comment! Other’n that, no one has ever mentioned that they know, nor have I mentioned to any of them. My reasons would be identical as yours!
So…Welcome Terri’s Mom! We so love your wonderful daughter! She’s an amazing friend!
Barb
November 20, 2008 at 2:42 am
I don’t think there is anything in your blog that wouldn’t make them proud of you – the story about crawling through holes in doors might make them pause for a momemt or two, though!
November 20, 2008 at 4:00 am
You should be very proud of this blog. I have not told my family either. I keep it as something that is mine and mine alone (and the internets’), but that allows me the freedom to write what I want wo/ being concerned about Thanksgiving dinner.
November 20, 2008 at 5:50 am
When I first started blogging, I didn’t quite know what to expect, so I created this character of Aliti. I did tell my wife about my first blog and she would visit sometimes but lost interest in reading my posts. I have not told my family because I don’t need them to be so present in my life. That’s one of the reasons for moving so far away from them. As for my friends, some do know that I blog but never gave them the URL to the blogs.
And hopefully you will never stop blogging or move without letting us know where you are…
November 20, 2008 at 7:01 am
My mom had trouble understanding email attachments. I seriously doubt she knows what a blog is.
Knot
November 20, 2008 at 7:17 am
Personally I love reading your blog because its so much more than just a daily diary.
And you – an introvert? Maybe when they took out the kidney they some inhibitions where attached to it (yuch, yuch – a little living donor humor – for me I claim they took part of my brains along with the kidney)
I remember some time after I started my blog going on a business trip to LA and meeting this investment banker who said, “interesting picture on your blog”. I was stunned as I never thought anyone from my business life would happen on my blog. It’ s a small internet. Now I don’t give a rat’s ass.
November 20, 2008 at 8:04 am
I’m sure if your mom read this, she would be as proud of you and we all are. You’re an amazing person, and I believe God is using your blog and molding you through it.
I would be sad if you quit this.
November 20, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I know what you mean. I felt the same way when my mom found out about my website. Obviously I put it out there for anyone to see, and there’s nothing on there I’m ashamed of… but there have been some things that I’m sure SHE wouldn’t be quite as proud of. But she looks at it all the time and laughs with me about some of the stuff. (Of course, my mom is awesome too.) But anyway, you definitely shouldn’t quit doing this. Your mom should be very proud of you and how you inspire all of us. There’s a reason we all keep coming back.
November 20, 2008 at 5:16 pm
i havent told mine either.
Now I have a song in my head… “terri’s coming out… terri’s coming out… she want’s the world to know…”
November 20, 2008 at 5:20 pm
LOL… Poop, I almost titled this “I’ve been outed” but thought that might give the wrong impression.
November 20, 2008 at 6:10 pm
I agree. Nothing to be ashamed of here. When I started blogging, I let everyone know. But I figured no one would ever read it. I found out quickly after one post about a problem that I have with managing my anger at times. My inlaws called my wife to make sure everything was ok and to let her know that she and our girls could go there if they need be. (my problem was more with temper tantrums than violence). Putting it out there for the world to see, was for me almost therapudic. I was facing a problem I didn’t like and seeking help advice from others who may struggle with the same. Which I got some good advice and support by putting it out there. I have to admit though, it has affected what I write about. I now keep a personal journal for all the deepest, darkest parts of my brain.
Sorry for such a long comment. One question though. Does she know about your secret desire to be a writer?
November 20, 2008 at 6:54 pm
You cracked me up!
Delete or not delete…that is THE question. I can tell you from recent personal experience…DON’T delete it. I started to delete mine due to my own personal situation and stopped. I regretted deleting what I did. It was a part of me and I felt like I ripped part of my own heart out. Does that make sense or am I just getting too deep here! 
WELCOME MOM!!
November 20, 2008 at 7:02 pm
My IL’s don’t know about my blog. Every once in a while I get the urge to just tell them. But I also feel like my blog is so me, and I worry if it is a bit too much me for them. I am not sure I am ready to expose that much to them. Not that I am sharing any deep, dark secrets, but, still… However, my IL’s travel to FL for 2 months every year in January and I keep thinking that they really would love to get all the daily updates on the kids through my blog.
Anyway, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You are such a wonderful writer and your blog is really a very nice place to visit. Please PUH-lease don’t hit delete!!!
November 20, 2008 at 8:43 pm
I’m impressed that your mom even knows what a blog is… Mine has trouble with understanding the difference between email and the internet.
Thanks for your honesty in sharing who you are with us. It is a tremendous gift and we don’t take it lightly.
November 20, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Oh my long lost sister,( yes mom you have another daughter out there!)I know what you mean! I feel like I need to explain, why I blog, I don’t know why? There are worse things I could be doing! I could still be crank calling people…or knocking on their doors and hiding in the bushes, tp their trees? hahaha just playin, I never did any of that stuff. I think the people that don’t understand blogging are missing out. I have met so many truly great people here. I no longer feel like I need to hide it. Honestly I would wear a Tshirt that said I got blogged by Terri! Sure I would! Love you Terri, I would’nt have missed “meeting” you for anything! You are the best!
November 20, 2008 at 9:27 pm
In a panic, I had set mine to private a while back. But who was I kidding? Blogging is part of who I am and I don’t need to explain it to anyone. If any of the family (either side) stumbles across it, so be it. My real name isn’t on here – just our faces. My parents read all the time – sometimes they’ll leave comments. And yes, I’m sure many times they cringe at things I say, but I’ve never lied on there. I (think I) know the line between what’s a little too personal and what can be shared. For instance, my marriage is seldom a topic I put out there. Unless it’s a funny or sweet story; I’m not sharing what I wouldn’t want my own neighbor to know about. And if I’ve sometimes crossed that line by mistake, oh well. I’ve learned a lot more and met a lot more amazing people here and I guess with that a few mistakes are allowed.
November 20, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Terri – this is for your Mom -Congratulations on a job very well done in this daughter you raised. She’s beautiful -inside and out. A loving mother -and daughter -caring, compassionate, considerate and also, very passionate too. Just what every mother would want in a daughter, for sure.
And, if it weren’t for her blog, I wouldn’t be able to tell you that about her cause I wouldn’t know her.
November 21, 2008 at 10:30 am
“no matter what anyone thinks, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve done some great things here”
That is The Truth!
Its weird at first when your family reads your blog, but when they realize / learn / see what its all about they usually get into it!
November 21, 2008 at 10:33 am
“starting over somewhere new with a new URL and fake names” had me in splits, I mean its so weird imagining u wd contemplate smthng like that made me laugh
)
Yeah, mom shd be proud of u, as some of us are too, to know you, n wthout this we cdnt have told her or known you! Bright Jeni!
November 22, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Very cool. My one sister reads my blogs and the other one doesn’t but she knows about it.
My mother knows I have a blog but doesn’t read it or ask me about it.
Gigi told her once I had a blog and my mom said, “Maybe I shouldn’t read it.”
You should have no regrets. Your comments about your parents have always been in love.
I think of your father often.
November 22, 2008 at 7:50 pm
There’s something to be said about a blog that NOBODY from real life knows about. I had that for a short while. Then, I let my husband in so he wouldn’t get all paranoid. Then I told a brother and I think he told another brother and a couple of friends. I don’t worry about my parents because they don’t have the internet (can you imagine?!?).
I wouldn’t worry if I were you. Your parents raised you well, you’re a good person and it comes out in your writing. If anything, they should be proud!
The only person I worry about finding my blog is Neighbor Flanders!
November 25, 2008 at 6:55 am
I can so relate to your panic…as you know. I’m glad you’re still around…you inspire me so much! I’m sure your Mom has enjoyed everything she’s read and you’ve done nothing but bring respect and honor to your family.
Once again you’ve put words to my thoughts Terri…I feel the same way about letting people know the “real” me. Blogging has taught me so much about my own self!
March 28, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Hello!
Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
PS: Sorry for my bad english, I’v just started to learn this language
See you!
Your, Raiul Baztepo