Life is Good – June 26, 2009

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If you read my post yesterday, you might recall that I mentioned I had a conference call in the morning. The participants in this meeting consisted of a small group of executive account managers of which I am a part. Normally my boss doesn’t expect us to participate in conference calls from home if the meeting occurs on a day one or more of us are not in the office. Normally, a meeting among this group serves the purpose of touching base and making sure everyone is on the same page. In the past, if one of us happened to be out of the office on the day of one of these meetings, we would just catch up with one of the others when we returned to work. But something seemed different about the meeting invitation this time. The message was vague but there seemed to be an expectation that anyone not in the office would call in if at all possible.

Anxiety levels in the office have been high. The economy hasn’t improved and neither has my company’s business. I was nervous about this call.

I won’t bore you with the details of my job, but suffice it to say that changes implemented by the Bush administration, the current economy, and impending changes being made by the Obama administration to the federal student loan program have made it nearly impossible to expect that we can resume business as usual. Our normal operations have been steadily grinding to a halt over the past couple of years, culminating with a recent company announcement that we would be unable to fund any loans for the coming academic year. Funding loans is what we do. If we don’t fund loans, then there is little left to do other than service our existing accounts. Without the benefit of new business, we have all wondered how long the company could afford to keep us all on staff. Most of us have been waiting for an announcement of layoffs and over the past few days, the fear in the office seemed almost tangible.

It was with trepidation that I dialed in on the conference call yesterday and prepared to hear the news my boss had to share.

In spite of what I know about my company, I honestly, deep down inside, never expected to hear what was said on that call yesterday.  My boss spoke for quite some time, finally filling us in on what had been going on behind the scenes in upper management recently. It didn’t take me long to understand that the news was good!

We are not folding beneath the weight of this economy. We are not throwing up our hands in defeat and calling it quits. Instead, as I have been hoping for months, it seems that management has found a way to reinvent the company and market our  expertise in other areas. I am not losing my job! At least not yet.

This news is all very preliminary and I need to be careful not to get too comfortable just yet. Our future success depends on being able to market the products and services that are being developed. But there are already some potential customers and things look promising! I was excited to hear that I will have a very active roll in this new venture if things go as well as we hope.

When I hung up from that call, Jake was the only one home besides me. He had been playing on the Wii while I was on my call and was still at it when I was finished. Still holding my cordless phone, I went to find him in the living room and began to jump and dance around and sing, “I’m not losing my job! I’m not losing my job!” He asked a few questions and laughed at my antics, saying that he didn’t think he’d ever seen me in such an excited state. My kids are very aware of how precarious my job situation has been and so I’m sure Jake understood my celebratory mood.

I suddenly realized that for the past many months, there had been a tremendous weight on my shoulders and that it had been casting a shadow over me, every day, in everything I did. Some days were worse than others. Some days I would barely worry about it, with only a mild awareness in the back of my mind of the bleak outlook. Other days, I couldn’t seem to stop worrying. This may seem dramatic to some. I’m not sure I can even explain the attachment I have to my job except to say that this  is the first job I have ever had in which I not only feel competent but that I excel in my duties and find the work to be extremely fulfilling. As much as I’d be willing to do most any kind of work necessary to support my family, I know this job and this company are a rare almost-perfect fit. The thought of giving it up hurts.

Before yesterday’s call, I was prepared to enjoy my day and simply enjoy it without worrying about anything else for a change. After the call, I don’t think there was anything that could have dampened my spirits. It turned out to be a beautiful day in so many ways.

I know there’s always the possibility that things could still go sour with my job, but for now I’m just happy that we’re not going down without a fight. I  feel like I can breathe again! Life is good!

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